Green With Envy
by Archadian
Summary: Cortana gets a body, Master Chief wants Cortana, Master Chief is already takenby some bluehaired girl, Cortana wants to kick her ass...better than a soap opera on CBS! COMPLETED!
1. The Bitch

Green With Envy

Jiralhanae

Cortana finally got what she's always wanted—a body. She's waited for this day ever since she was created through a hard drive supercomputer a few years back. Cortana stood 5'7" with short cropped reddish-brown hair; a flawless angel-like girl. She looked about twenty-two years old, complete with teal eyes, a perfect form; not a curve out of place, her creamy skin looked as if she emerged from a swimming pool. Cortana stepped in front of a full length mirror, marveling over her perfect figure.

"Is this really me?" Gasps Cortana in shock. "I—I don't look the same. I look…beautiful."

She couldn't stop smiling. The complete and total shock of her own beauty fills her heart with joy. "I hope she doesn't get a big head," said a male voice in the doorway. Cortana smiles coyly, puts her hands on her hips and responds to the voice in the doorway. "I won't get a big head. Somebody already has one," She slowly walks up to the armored figure in the doorway, sexily, she cocks her head to the right and narrows her eyes. Her voice changes in a joking state. "That helmet makes your chrome dome look like the Epcot Center."

Master Chief ( or John if you like) slowly shook his head. "Wow. Beautiful, sweet, and funny. How….funny."

Cortana raised one eyebrow. "You know what?"

"What?" asked Master Chief.

"I've never seen your face." She had a pang of doubt. Did she REALLY want to see his face? The Chief hasn't been out of that suit for a long time, and he might look like a ghost…

John removes the helmet, revealing an incredibly pale face. He has piercing sky-blue eyes, a strong jawline, kissable lips, shorn black hair—Cortana couldn't believe how handsome the Master Chief truly is—AND he has a sexy voice to top it off?! She was sweating out her hair!

Cortana smiles lovingly, a gut feeling telling her the man she's looking at is the one for her, the one person she's been in love with for some years. She tries to hold back the reaction to kiss him, but she must---oh hell, why not! Cortana gently places her hands on John's face and starts to kiss him when… _she_ taps the Master Chief on the shoulder.

"John, we have to get going," said a mysterious girl with blue hair.

Cortana stares at the girl with hatred, the girl stares back.

This is the first test of having a human body—competition.


	2. Tawana

Green With Envy (Part Two)

Jiralhanae

Cortana wears a pair of olive-green hip-huggers, her favorite black belly top with the phrase 'Got Spartan?' printed on it, complete with dark green platform sneakers; her hair styled in two short pigtails. She looks in her full length mirror, smiles conceitedly, and says:

"Hmph. That blue-haired John-stealing bitch has nothin' on me."

She grabs her silver shot-bead necklace and puts it on. There's a knock on the door, just when Cortana is about to grab her black and green Prada bag.

"Hold on a second!" She yells from the bathroom. The knocking gets louder. "Wait a minute!"

The constant knocking gets even more bothersome.

"KEEP YOUR MJOLNIR ON! I KNOW IT'S YOU, JOHN!"

Cortana cracks the door just enough to see his face. She opens the door even wider, stunned to see what John has on.

He isn't wearing his usual MJOLNIR; he's wearing….skater clothes! A green tee shirt, faded blue jeans, really cool green and white Vans, his hair dyed green, a slap-bracelet on his left wrist, and the bow on the package—a chain dangling from his right pocket.

Her mouth is literally dropped to the floor.

"John, is that…_you?_"

He puts his hands in his pockets, smiling sheepishly, shifting from foot to foot.

"Yeah…..it's me."

Cortana ,at a snail's pace, shakes her head, still in total shock. She smiles brightly and gives John a high five.

"Master Chief, you look GREAT! I know you're glad to finally be out of that—"

Her sentence is cut short by…_her._ Little miss blue hair---and blue skin! She has on the clear-cut same exact outfit as Cortana. She can feel her blood boil.

I know this Covenant-lookin' bitch ain't rockin' _my_ shit. Cortana thought to herself. She wanted to beat her ass right there, but she had to keep her cool.

The blue-haired girl spoke to John.

"Mind introducing me to your… diminutive friend?" Said the blue-haired girl. John's 'date' is part human, part Covenant with full human features. She is the same height and build, has the same measurements, everything except the bitchy attitude.

John introduces the two enemies.

"Cortana, this is my girlfriend Tawana; Tawana this is Cortana, my best friend."

Tawana partially cuts John off in the middle of his sentence with a rude remark.

"More like your little sister," She says with a smirk. Cortana fires back by pushing up on John, gently caressing his chest with her slender fingers.

"Say John," She says in a sexy voice. "What do you say we…get a place tonight after the party, and I'll show you what a _real_ woman can do."

Tawana frowns angrily and shoves Cortana.

"Hey! Why don't you find your _own_ Spartan to screw, you little slut!"

Cortana shoves her back.

"Who are you callin' a slut, you tacky-ass Covenant bitch!"

Slightly annoyed by the girls' shoving match, John steps in between them, pushing them apart.

"Enough! We'd better get to the party if we want to get there on time!"

The three walk down the long corridor. Behind John's back, Cortana and Tawana gaze angrily at each other.

Cortana whispers under her breath:

"You. Me. After the party."

Tawana responds arrogantly:

"You got it."

Keep a look out for Part Three: CAT FIGHT!


	3. Cat Fight!

Green With Envy (Part Three)

On the way to the party, Cortana and Tawana continuously bickered. She really wanted to crush Tawana's dim-witted face in for taking her crush. Cortana knew John longer than that Covenant bitch, and she can treat him a lot better than she can.

The girls' constant backbiting eventually annoyed John to the point of raising his voice.

"Alright, that's enough! We're going to this party to enjoy ourselves, not irritate the hell out of each other! Do I make myself clear?"

Cortana and Tawana hushed up quickly, staring at John in surprise. Of course, Tawana just has to have the last word.

"I_ KNOW_ you ain't talkin' to me like that! Who do you think you are? I will have no problem findin' someone else to replace your ol' stankin' ass!"

Cortana can feel her blood boil. Just when she reaches back to slap the living shit out of her, they arrive at the massive party hall. This place glowed an eerie green, matching the party's theme: 'The Arbiter's Lucky Day.' This party is thrown in honor of The Arbiter, since it is his 21st birthday. Loud rock music can be heard from outside, echoing through the building. John puts his arms around both girls and smiles.

"Are my two favorite princesses ready to party?"

Cortana and Tawana glance at each other and roll their eyes. At the same time, they answer.

"Yeah, I guess."

They grab each other's hands and dash inside the huge structure. Cortana and John take a quick look at each other swiftly; a small grin creeps on John's face, his teal-blue eyes sparkling in the green luminosity of the party hall. A Brute bouncer lets them through; straight to the largest party they've ever been to.

The dance floor is crowded with guests; humans and Covenant alike. Everyone is dressed in either green or black. Extremely loud music drowns out the guests. Tawana grabs John's hands and yells over the din of the party:

"Let's dance!" While they pass Cortana, she just HAS to have the LAST WORD! "I'm sure Cortex can find her own dance partner!"

Just when Cortana is about to fire back, the DJ yells over the speakers, starling her.

"Alright ya'll! Who's ready to get…Stupified?!"

The crowd makes an enormously amount of noise, Cortana is thinking up the best plan to ruin Tawana's night—and her mimicking outfit. While the DJ starts to play 'Stupify' by Disturbed, she conveniently goes to the drink stand and orders a Long Island iced tea. Cortana inches her way toward Tawana and John, who are dancing in time with the music. She pretends to trip over her foot, spilling her drink all over her enemy's shirt, completely drenching it.

With anger in her voice, she yells:

"YOU LITTLE BITCH! MY SHIRT!"

John tries to console her; instead, Tawana slaps him across his face, leaving a handprint on his left cheek.

That was the last straw. Cortana is not going to let her get away with that. She grips Tawana's shoulder and violently turns her around to face her.

"You…Covenant…Bitch."

The last thing Tawana seen was Cortana's fist meeting her face. She stumbles backward into the snack table, toppling it over, landing in a mass of cold cuts. Cortana grabs her shirt, ripping it, exposing her bra to the world. Tawana trips Cortana, making her fall on cherry cheesecake.

The crowd is egging them on. The girls rip each other's shirts, exposing bras and cleavage for the whole world to see. John wants to break up the fight…(well, he _is_ a guy, you know.) Both girls are covered in cold cuts, chocolate cake frosting, you name it, they were covered in it. Cortana finishes the fight by grabbing Tawana's hair. She drags her to the door and yells:

"…AND STAY AWAY FROM JOHN, BEEYATCH!"

Cortana kicking her up the ass follows that remark.

An hour later, John and Cortana arrive at the upscale apartment building. She starts to feel like a total idiot by fighting her best friend's girlfriend. Well, she had it coming. Cortana smiles shamefacedly, then giggles fretfully.

"I'm sorry I ruined our night. I shouldn't have fought her."

John smirks lovingly and holds her hands firmly.

"She should be the one apologizing for the way she treated both of us. Tawana is not the right one for me, you are."

Cortana couldn't believe her ears. Her gut was right! John really did love her!

"You love me even though I smell like a cheesecake sandwich?"

John brings her closer to his awesomely sexy body. He laughs lovingly and says:

"I love you no matter what you're covered in."

He gives her the most passionate kiss Cortana will never forget. They are truly a match made in Heaven.


End file.
